My dearest Anna,
I do not hope you are okay because I know you are not. And rightfully so. Cry, be angry, be sad. Hate everyone and everything. Feel guilty. It's okay, you have the right to these feelings right now. But also be sure that it will all pass.
You will be your true self again.
Yes, you're right when you think this is gonna be a long war, but be sure you will win it. And you're right that you have to start from scratch again and that's completely devastating. But you will succeed in starting your life again somewhere in you.
You will be very very sad. You somehow started thinking that the part of your life that has been lost forever. These places of your childhood, your uni years, places of your friends and your lovers. Places you triumphed, and you failed. Places you were the happiest and places you were the saddest. You miss them so much. And you will never be able to show them to your children again. It makes you super, super sad. But again, that's okay.
You are okay. Your family is okay. And your country is okay.
You will find your new self. You will find a new semi-comfortable place in your new life, you will enjoy it, and sometimes you will even feel excited about it about all these new opportunities that are ahead of you. Yes, you still will be crying, and it will still seem like you can never be fully happy again because some part of you is lost forever, but it's just giving more space for a new you, stronger you, wiser you, to develop.
Just keep living my dear Anna, because you're really really good at it.